read it

last week, becky handed me a book called redeeming love and said "you have to read this."

i read the inside cover and immediately thought i would have no interest in it for the following reasons:
1. it looked to be a romance novel (lame).
2. it takes place during the CA gold rush (boring).
3. it is a christian book (which i'm not completely opposed to reading, however, christian fiction has never been high on my list).
4. it is 500 pages (i'm a busy girl, give me a book that is 200 pages and i'm happy).

a brief synopsis before i go on:

California’s gold country, 1850. A time when men sold their souls for a bag of gold and women sold their bodies for a place to sleep.

Angel expects nothing from men but betrayal. Sold into prostitution as a child, she survives by keeping her hatred alive. And what she hates most are the men who use her, leaving her empty and dead inside.

Then she meets Michael Hosea.

A man who seeks his Father’s heart in everything, Michael Hosea obeys God’s call to marry Angel and to love her unconditionally. Slowly, day by day, he defies Angel’s every bitter expectation until, despite her resistance her frozen heart begins to thaw. But with her unexpected softening come overwhelming feelings of unworthiness and fear. And so Angel runs. Back to the darkness, away from her husband’s pursuing love, terrified of the truth she can no longer deny: Her final healing must come from the One who loves her even more than Michael Hosea does…the One who will never let her go.

i started reading the book, despite my initial reactions, and i'm so glad i did. i have never been impacted so much by one book. i cried, i laughed, i got pissed, i felt hatred, and i felt love. all 500 pages were an emotional roller coaster. throughout the entire book, there is an overwhelming feeling of God's love and forgiveness. the inside cover describes the book as "a life-changing story of God’s unconditional, redemptive, all-consuming love," and that description could not be more accurate.

another reason why i absolutely love this book is because it verifies my faith in the idea that God writes my love story. (some people might think i'm too whimsical and naive in my thinking, but i'm ok with that). He knows who i am ultimately supposed to marry, and He will bring him to me when He decides it's time. ("God always answers in His time, not in yours").

my friends are constantly amazed at how unaffected i am when a relationship ends or when the dude i'm dating turns out to be a huge douchebag. it's a hard thing to explain. it's not because i don't have feelings or i don't care, it's because i know there is something better and greater in my future, and this is how it's supposed to be. i feel a comforting calmness that lets me know this will all make sense someday, as long as i trust in Him.

for right now, i'm going to hold out for my michael hosea.